"I told him about the way they get to know you. Not the way people do, the way people flatter you by wanting to know every last thing about you, only it isn't a compliment, it is just efficient, a person getting more quickly to the end of you."
I want you to use your imagination for a moment.
Imagine:
you're meeting someone for the first time. Not your average, everyday person. This isn't the person who toys with small talk at all. We all know the type: bold, inquisitive, peculiarly interested in you. For ease of explanation, let me refer to this mysterious character as a he (for the sake of familiarity on my account). He asks you questions you've never been asked before, really seems to want to know what makes you tick. His intrigue intrigues you. Why does he seem so interested?
Some people, I've learned, are masters at this game. People are curious by nature of course, but these characters are really interested in you. And just you! so it seems.
But these are the ones who pursue you (and they pursue hard), try to figure you out. And when they do, they realize that you're human. And when you're human you lose your air of mystery.
Desire, dissect, discard.
And really, isn't that what people are all about? They want you while they want you, but they have no problem discarding you when they don't. We're selfish creatures. No matter how much you claim to care about the feelings of others, this compassion pales in comparison to your regard for your own needs and desires. A rigorous pursuit to know someone is merely a quicker means to figuring them out.
So sure, it's flattering when he seems to genuinely care about what you have to say. He really wants to know about your past, your opinions, aspirations. He might just be the most avid "20 questions" player you've ever encountered and you just don't see an end in sight. There's plenty to know, right?
Wrong.
You must never believe that other people will ever find you as interesting as you find yourself.
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